an easy letter to a (still) rough someone

October, 2016

And during those 9 days without you I:

-          - watched the 9 snapchats that you’ve sent maybe one or maybe ten times each

-          - looked through all our pictures (and edited some of them, so I could send to you when you started speaking to each other again)

-         -  listened to our songs, and cried of course, more times than I can even count

-          - spoke about you to everyone around me most of the time

-          - compared all the boys that I “flirted with” with you (and they were so boring, oh my god)

-          - planed how I would travel there and surprise you next year

-          - checked my phone every time I had a new message hopping it was from you

-          - dreamed about you twice, or maybe three times, and woke up just wanting to go back to sleep

-          - drank 2 bottles of wine and cried over you

-          - downloaded all the dating apps, and then deleted all of them

-          - sent some snapchats hoping you would see and speak to me (what didn’t happen)

During those 9 days without you in my life I hoped that the next day would be different, and after 9 fucking long days it was. After those 9 fucking days I realised that I love you more than anyone I have ever loved in my life and that I never want to lose you again, doesn’t matter if we will see each other in only 6 months or 1 year, a day without you is not worth it.